Space is a Real Thing

April 3, 2020

I say this a lot in classes. Space is a real thing. Space matters. How you set up your space, within, among and around you, is YOU, actively creating in this world. Many of us, much of our time, do not give space much attention. We alternate between taking it for granted as in “I want” or “I need” (and therefore it’s mine) to assumptions that ‘this’ space has no room for me. If we do this, we are following old patterns within us, or being bounced around by our environment, without awareness that space is something we control. Space is our innate human super power. Here is a recent picture of me exploring my access to breath and air space.

Surprise! I am wearing a mask...

I made some of these cotton masks recently for going out in public places. Let’s note that this was not a sudden decision. My first response to wearing a mask was “I won’t need that, it’s easy to avoid spreading a virus with my rural lifestyle.” I heard this and I used my innate super power by just listening and giving it space to change. I stayed curious as I was aware that people in other countries were wearing masks for ‘this’ virus.  Maybe they knew something I did not yet understand. hmm…

And new information did come in. I heard about people testing positive and not feeling sick. I correlated this to remembering what it feels like to know my body is fighting off a virus and not get sick myself. And something reminded me that we are most contagious to others before symptoms. From here, I realized that I myself, will not necessarily know if or when I am a carrier. I won’t know. I really cannot know. This is always a big shift within us, from following previous patterns (almost on auto-pilot- grin) to accepting that this is a new situation. Interesting. To top my own not knowing off, when I really paid attention, my rural environment is not as easy to isolate in as I may have thought. And other people were not necessarily interested in changing their patterns of interaction. This brought on board my protectors. If you come too close, you’ll get something like this:

Ha ha ha! Can you feel that elbow nudge here?  Give me space y’all!

Claiming a safe outer/inner space and defending whatever is needed now is both our responsibility and our innate super power. And this is my point. As we practice Presence as a state of being, as we begin rewiring within ourselves to create a world where everything belongs, we must rule our space both with kindness and clarity. Rule seems like a harsh word and I want it here on purpose because there is a firmness that comes from access to the bigger picture Presence gives us – the bigger picture being that this is a change from how human beings have used their brain. As Focusers, we greet everything, no matter how much of us judges ‘it’ as bad or unworthy, with kindness. We make each ‘it’, each ‘something’, space to feel safe. This is our human super power. No one can take this away from us. We do it for ourselves and the other. We create space. It’s quite magical really. Our body leads the way. With everything we greet, it shows us the kind of space it needs. For example, a physical inflammation first appears tight or painful. What does this tell us? It is asking for space, it is asking for fresh air as in breathing into the area. It is asking for active circulation, nutrients coming in and waste getting out. It is asking for empathy for how it came to be this way. It is asking for time and space to heal at it’s own pace.

Using our super power of creating whatever space is needed now often requires clarity with ‘the way things are’. For physical inflammations, we have previous conceptions that this part of our body should not have pain – these beliefs can put pressure on the pain to go away (giving it less space). These ideas can also distract us so that we do not give this part of our body any medical support it might need to heal. They very effectively extend the inflammation. This is easy to do if we use our brain from the usual patterns our culture has encouraged. Changing these patterns takes a kind of slowing down and a pause to sense in with curiosity.  Inflammation is our body asking for our attention. It hopes to achieve the simple acceptance and space accommodations from us that it needs to heal itself. Using my mask example above, I wear it with both a clarity that my breath belongs and is safe to be the way it is, plus an awareness that in public environments safety for my breath, your breath and items around me requires a boundary, ‘this’ kind of protection. Not always, necessarily, this is for now, freshly.

Did I imagine myself wearing a mask to the store 3 weeks ago? No. This is new. I acknowledged the newness to that within me that is confused or surprised. I give all of this space within me to adjust. It does not have to agree, it can worry I will be embarrassed or that this is not necessary. This awareness of my own reactions helps me of course, when I sense similar reactions from others around me. Yes, this is new. Wearing masks is new. Showing up in ways that create space for that within, among and around us to feel safe is new.

Creating space is a constant adventure. I invite you to join me here.

Each situation may brings us a fresh sense of what is needed here. Our brain has opportunities to rewire in almost every moment we pay attention to space.

Space is a real thing.

Space matters.

How you set up your space, within, among and around you, is YOU, actively creating in this world.