The Interactive Focusing Sandwich: First Focuser and Listener, Interactive Response, Second Focuser and Listener

By Barbara Dickinson

Practice: Double Wing of Interactive Focusing

If you would like to listen to the audio version of this blog post, you can find it on YouTube.

In this blog post we are going to finish up our explanation of the "Double Wing" of Interactive Focusing. It is like a “sandwich”, with the first turn (top bread), Interactive Response (filling) and second turn (bottom bread).

NEW!! “Seen on a Road Sign”

Before we do, we are delighted to offer a new feature in these blog posts called "Seen on a Road Sign". This is where we will offer you items of interest in the realm of Exploring Interaction - like a road sign pointing the way to something interesting. You will find our first two in this blog post at the end.

The “Double Wing” or Full Session of Interactive Focusing

And now, back to our explanation of the Double Wing of Interactive Focusing. This is the term that the developers used to describe two Focusing turns. 

Here is a complete Interactive Focusing session in outline form.

1. First Focuser/Focuser as Storyteller/Focuser as Teacher speaks from their story and their felt sense
2. First Listener reflects
3. First Listener offers Double Empathic Moment
4. Interactive Response by Second Focuser
5. Second Focuser/Focuser as Storyteller/Focuser as Teacher speaks from their story and their felt sense
6. Second Listener reflects
7. Second Listener offers Double Empathic Moment
8. Both Partners offer Relationship Check 

Expanded Explanation - First Turn

First Focuser/Focuser as Storyteller spends about half their allotted time giving the context --  telling the story -- of their topic. They spend the other half of their time felt sensing in the traditional focusing way. The only exception in the felt sensing portion of their turn is that they have to articulate at least some of what they are finding inside. It is only in this way that their Listener can know how it is for them.

The first Listener reflects whatever the Focuser ("as Teacher") would like reflected. When the Focuser comes to a resting place, the Listener invites them into the Double Empathic Moment, by saying, "Now that you've come to a resting place, let me go inside and see if I can capture the essence of how it is for you with my own body sense, and offer you a symbol. While I do so, please take a few moments of quiet time and be very gentle with yourself."

The Listener offers the symbol, the Focuser takes it in to see if it resonates in whole, in part, or not at all, and offers a comment to the Listener. In particular, the Focuser tells the Listener what, if anything, shifted further inside.

End of the First Turn - Interactive Response and Second Turn

The next step is the Interactive Response, in which the second Focuser goes inside to see what has touched them from the first session. Usually there will be something (although it does not have to be so), and the second Focuser proceeds from there with their turn, identical to the first. 

When the second Focuser comes to a resting place, the second Listener offers the same invitation to the Double Empathic Moment, and provides the symbol to the second Focuser. The second Focuser takes the symbol in to see if it resonates, and offers a comment to the Listener, particularly about anything that has shifted further.

This is the end of the Double Wing of Interactive Focusing, and it is what sets up the partners for the closing Relationship Check.

Preview of the Relationship Check

After two turns of Focusing and Listening are complete, the closing of the Interactive Focusing session is the Relationship Check. This is something unusual in many cultures, especially the one this author experiences. Each Partner, in turn, expresses two things: How am I with myself now, compared to how I was when we started? And, How am I with you now?

Some Interactive Focusers make the second half of the Relationship Check a comparison as well: How am I now with you compared to how I was with you when we started? Either form - comparison or not - is perfectly fine.

This is a felt sensing check, going inside and asking the question to see what felt sense forms. It is done briefly, but meaningfully. 

The Relationship Check is also performed with an attitude of “What is it in you that I admire from my experience of you today?” Beginning with an “attitude of gratitude” or admiration, or respect, or appreciation is an excellent starting place. 

Relationship Check and Approaching Conflict

In future posts, we will expand on the Relationship Check and we will talk about the use of Interactive Focusing to resolve a conflict between two people. Perhaps you can already see where this Relationship Check has a vital part in any human relationship, as there will always be that which we admire, as well as that which needs thoughtful, empathic, and compassionate attention.

NEW!! “Seen on a Road Sign”

I love laughing at funny signs along the road, or on T shirts, or memes on the Internet, or cartoon strips. For our purposes here at the Blog, I like “Seen on a Road Sign” (pointing the way for us, yes?) as a place to “park” interesting insights, ideas, articles, etc., that help us in our explorations of interaction. 

“Close Talking” is something Donata Schoeller, PhD, has written about ”…clarifying what it is one thinks, feels or intends.”  She speaks of Gendlin’s term, “Carrying forward” [and how it] “...opens new avenues to grasp the process of meaning making, leaving behind the alternatives of ‘representing’, ‘constructing’ or ‘imposing’ concepts on experience.” 

If you are up for a good read from an authoritative academic source, check out Schoeller’s “Close Talking”.

Karen Whalen continues the story of Whole Body Focusing with the updated Relational Whole Body Focusing website. She says, “Relational Wholebody Focusing is a BodyMind experiential practice that values our differences and recognizes the ties of inter-dependence that link us as a civil, fair, and humane society.”

Coming Soon!

“The Interactive Focusing” is a video, produced by Nada Lou, of the Developers of Interactive Focusing, Drs. Janet Klein and Mary McGuire, explaining their work. We are planning to offer a “Watch Party” of the Video later this year. Stay tuned for more news!

If you do not want to wait for our Watch Party, you can order a DVD from Nada Lou’s “Focusing in Focus” https://nadalou.com/dvds/dvds-featuring-focusing-teachers/ 

Here is the description of the video, “THE INTERACTIVE FOCUSING” with Mary McGuire Ph.D.and Janet Klein Ph.D. 

“The Interactive Focusing Process is a forward moving edge of Focusing, incorporating Focusing into the building of relationships. Through the Interactive Focusing Process, we are able to develop empathy and compassion as well as self-empathy and self-compassion. We finally have a “how to” teach empathy and compassion.”

Questions?

If any of this prompts a question or a comment, we would love to hear from you. Use our Contact Form at the bottom of the page to reach out.

Up Next

In our next blog post, we will expand on the Relationship Check and review the entire Interactive Focusing Session of two turns, including Empathic Listening, Interactive Response, and Relationship Check. 

Until next time!

• Our Monthly Virtual Changes Meeting schedule is here.
• Watch our Demonstration of Interactive Focusing with Sandy and Barbara here.
• Read more about Exploring Interaction here. 
• Resources about Interactive Focusing are found here. 
• You can read the latest from Sandy about Smartview Conversations here.