One of the gifts of Focusing is to be truly heard by another person. In this blog post, we talk about the conversational habit of responding to another person with our own stories, feelings, or reactions, and how Focusing helps us become better listeners. Asking, or reflecting, with empathy can bring us into a better relationship with the other. Read on!

In this blog post we are going to finish up our explanation of the "Double Wing" of Interactive Focusing. It is like a “sandwich”, with the first turn (top bread), Interactive Response (filling) and second turn (bottom bread).

Focuser as Teacher means that the Focuser lets the Listener know how they would like to proceed. For instance, would they like a "Lead In" (or attunement, as some call it)? How would they like to be heard, reflected? Would they like any suggestions or guidance? And so forth. The Focuser “teaches” the Listener what they prefer, what works best for them.

April 3, 2020

I say this a lot in classes. Space is a real thing. Space matters. How you set up your space, within, among and around you, is YOU, actively creating in this world. Many of us, much of our time, do not give space much attention. We alternate between taking it for granted as in “I want” or “I need” (and therefore it’s mine) to assumptions that ‘this’ space has no room for me.

Dec 12, 2017

I’ve had peace on my mind the last few months. The peace of being ok with failing a goal. The peace of letting things go as situations change. The peace of changing my mind and not needing excuses. The peace of finding what to focus on next when the list seemed endless. The peace of being joyful while acknowledging yes, there is so much to be angry about. The peace of moving forward a very old shame as if it happens everyday.

May 17, 2016

You might be wondering how one knows that it is time to Focus with a partner. I mean, overall, life is just fine right? No major changes on the horizon, relationships are holding their own, your body is more or less working. Obvious reasons to Focus are not on the scene of your life. So what are those clues that invite us to Focus?

April 16, 2016

And so it becomes a kind of dance my body and I do together throughout the day, this acknowledging what is here now and sensing in to what is needed and wanted at any given time.  The feeling is that we’re all in this together working for the common good of the whole being that I am; what a beautiful experience it is to sense that every part of me is on board and united in helping my body regain its health and balance!  

April 7, 2016

Practice, the practice of our Focusing skills, has been on my mind this morning. I feel so much how something in me wants to share this understanding with others. It wants to somehow communicate – that glimpse of CONNECTED, ALIVE, FLOWING AMAZINGNESS you touched on in your Guided Focusing Session, or in your Focusing partnership experience, or by dropping in on your own while hiking – that is the tip, just the tip. There is no limit of course, to the unfolding that happens when we are tapped into life forward movement.

Feb 5, 2016

FOCUSING LEADS US TO OUR SAFE GROUND

And so, how do we move ourselves closer to that ground upon which we feel safe, socially engaged, alive, thriving? One way of course, is to practice Focusing. We describe this same state of being that Porges defined as Presence or Self-in-Presence and we actively seek it.

Nov 25, 2015

Maybe there is somewhere in your life now where you have had a successful habit, are wanting to adapt it and are surprised that a change is not happening easily. I suggest you pause sometime that feels right and drop into your body. You could invite this issue either on your own or in a Focusing partnership. Be curious…  Is the success of your current habit actually preventing you from adapting something new?