Transform Your Life, Learn Focusing, Welcome the Way We Grow
One of my favorite group closing activities is inviting something we appreciate about ourselves during our time together. When we show up for ourselves and others authentically, there will be appreciation back from our inner team. In class, we stay with this feeling, possibly sharing something from what came with those around us.
Brief pauses like this to savor what is going well for us is a powerful resourcing and rewiring practice. We can literally flip the cultural emphasis we've learned that worries how others might judge this, toward feeling a bit safer in following our own sense of inner rightness.
When people outside of Focusing read this suggestion quickly, they might assume we are stroking our egos here. It's not at all like that. One of our underlying assumptions is understanding that always we are effecting and being affected by our environment. We share something about how spending time together lit up a sense of aliveness within us. We can best have this type of experience in spaces that feel safe to be our unique self. Our sharing comes as a compliment to those here with us now.
For most of us, the holidays bring a complex, interesting mix of feelings. Our left hemisphere will hold a lot that it has learned over the years. We'll have numerous protectors helping us feel safe and limiting what we do, say and feel this time of year.
If this resonates, you might try this exercise over the coming weeks.
Pause to savor what is going well for you.
If it feels right, cross your arms and give yourself a hug in that moment.
Or maybe clasp your hands in appreciation.
Adding the gesture of right and left arms (or hands) invites both hemispheres into this special moment.
I suggest watching for small examples to grow what does feel good for you. The whole thing does not have to feel good, just some aspect.
Maybe you gave yourself or others more space around traditions...
...invite that sense of spaciousness.
Or you handled a gift or expectation in a way that brought an alive connection...
...invite that sense of connection and appreciation for being seen.
Maybe you found ways to gift that brought less stress about money...
...invite that sense of gifting that feels safe for you.
Maybe you prioritized your health at a work party...
...invite that sense of caretaking your body.
You might even get a whole body response like this:
Pause in that moment or maybe later at the end of the day or the end of a week or the season.
Our bodies will respond in ways that may surprise us. Since we often do not give these open, flowing sensations much attention, do not be surprised if the sense of appreciation whizzes right by followed by suggestions for improvement. We can acknowledge those suggestions as needed. Our goal is to turn toward and intentionally STAY WITH and SAVOR the inner appreciation, the sense of spaciousness, gratitude, whatever comes that we want more of in our life.
We are building our sense of an inner team that is wired together and resilient. Over time, we will be able to show up for more of the holiday season, beyond the conflicts and no matter what twist of fate lands in spaces near us.
Whatever comes as mutual appreciation between your SELF and the incredible intricacy that makes us human, is worth celebrating. Enjoy celebrating being you!
Sandy Jahmi Burg
This site does not provide medical or any other health care or fitness advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The site and its services are for informational purposes only and are not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment.