Relationship Skills

"The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships and to effectively navigate settings with diverse individuals and groups." (from CASEL-SEL-Framework-11.2020)

Focusing is, in the words of its developer,“interaction first”.

Relationship Skills

Focusers find that, by learning this method and improving relationship with self, they are much better positioned to improve their relationships with others. Now more than ever, we need support for the skills that help us relate to others in a healthy, nurturing way “in good times and bad”.

Where do we begin?

We begin by unlearning traditional ways of relating, to ourselves, others and the world around us.

We learn to slow down...

In learning Focusing skills, we begin by unlearning traditional ways of relating that come from an underlying assumption that life is about doing and to be valued we need to fix, save or set ourselves or others straight. 

Instead, we learn to slow down, step back from and hold space with interested curiosity for our own emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. 

Staying calm and centered while holding space for confusion, fear and surprise.

Our body is our best teacher here. Gradually, by listening within ourselves, we come to understand that our mind/body/brain function best when WE pay attention to what is being communicated to US. We are not our emotions, thoughts, beliefs or behaviors. All of those are open to change. WE are the one responsible for listening and BEING WITH what is needing our attention.   

BEING WITH is not as hard as it might sound. Our mind/body/brain functions quite well on its own for much of what it takes to be a human being. And yet, as we begin to tune in, there are numerous
communications that, when responded to in the moment, can function better for

In our Smartview Stories book series, our three Inner Companions developed from neuroscience concepts make learning social emotional skills easy!