"Interactive Focusing In The House!"

By Barbara Dickinson

If you would like to listen to the audio version of this blog post, you can find it on YouTube.

For this blog post, we are going to briefly pause our series on the unique features of Interactive Focusing, and catch up on the latest news about Exploring Interaction.

Celebration!

Our very first Virtual Changes Meeting for Exploring Interaction happened on Sunday, March 17,  and it was magical!

We were "small but mighty" with two participants and two hosts. We had the advantage of plenty of time to talk about Focuser as Storyteller, Focuser as Teacher, the Double Empathic Moment, and we even had time for the Relationship Check in one of our sessions.

We made Mini Podcasts!

In fact, we even made two mini podcasts during the session. One is about the Focuser as Storyteller and Teacher. The other is about the Double Empathic Moment. You can refer to our previous blog post about Focuser as Teacher and Storyteller here, and find the mini podcast here. In our next blog post, we will describe the Double Empathic Moment, but for now, you can find the mini podcast here.

The Next Virtual Changes Meeting for Exploring Interaction

Virtual Changes Meetings for Exploring Interaction occur once a month on the third Sunday in two time slots to accommodate as many time zones around the globe as possible. The next date is Sunday, April 21, at 11 AM Eastern time and 7 PM Eastern time, for 90 minutes, all on Zoom.

To register for one of our Virtual Changes Meetings For Exploring Interaction click this link.

Interactive Focusing “in the House" 

On a personal note, Interactive Focusing “in the house" happened when a Focusing partner of mine visited for a week. We had a Relationship Check every morning, which was special for lots of reasons. For one thing, I have been interested for some time in the question, “Why only have a Relationship Check at the *end* of an Interactive Focusing session?” Why not have it at the beginning as well?

Good question!

What would the world be like if…

Do you ever wonder what the world would be like if something like this happened between people every time they interacted?

Imagine this: 

You wake up every morning, make your tea or coffee, and sit down with whoever you are close to. (This could be in person (“in the house”), or virtually.) You sense into the question, “How are you now compared to how you were yesterday?” 

After you say something about that, you sense into the second question, “How are you now with the person in the room?” And say a few words about that.

You are listened to in a compassionate, non-judgmental way, with reflection, but no criticism, advice, or any other responses we may be accustomed to hear.

Then the person you are with does the same.

And then at the end of the day, no matter what else has transpired, you both do the same.

Sounds good to me!

Time to Explore 

It is worth considering how our interactions and relationships develop without this kind of pause-and-reflect practice, and how they might develop with it. How lucky you are if you already have this kind of practice in your life!

Just for fun, you might try this the next time you have a Focusing partnership. Start with a Relationship Check. And end with a Relationship Check. Every time I perform this piece of Interactive Focusing I am astonished at what comes both from me and from my partner. 

What I Admire In You

In Interactive Focusing we often do this from the point of view of what we admire in the other person. I would like to add that it is worth doing a Relationship Check from the point of view of what we admire in ourselves too.  Not to be bragging all the time, but to practice forming and holding a positive mindset about ourselves.

For example, how am I now compared to how I was when I started writing this blog post? Something I admire in myself is my ability to be creative. I feel better -- more comfortable -- now that I have written this, compared to the slight unease I felt when I started. I wondered then, “Would I be able to express what I wanted to say?”

And what do I admire about you? That you are interested enough in Exploring Interaction to read/listen to this entire blog post!

In Our Next Post

Next time we will explore the Double Empathic Moment in some depth. This is "the Golden Moment" of Interactive Focusing. To be truly heard, understood and reflected in a symbolic way by another person is perhaps the greatest gift one human being can give to another. It is a simple, if not altogether easy, piece of the process, and something that we hope you will return to learn more about.

Until next time!  

• You can find our Monthly Changes Meeting schedule here.
• Read more about Exploring Interaction here. 
• Resources about Interactive Focusing are found here.