"The abilities to manage one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations and to achieve goals and aspirations." (from CASEL-SEL-Framework-11.2020)

Focusing becomes your foundation for Self-Management

Focusing introduces the concept of self-as-mentor by bringing us back to our body as our teacher. By this, we mean that each person has inner wisdom that they can forget how to access.

Our culture has encouraged us to look outside of ourselves for wisdom. An example is that we give more value to a friend's suggestion, or to an article or to a doctor's advice, than the idea that our body knows what it needs to thrive.

Doing this over time gives our body the message that our inner wisdom is not to be trusted. Answers are always 'out there' somewhere.

An initial step, is something like the picture here. We apologize for ignoring our bodies communication. Over time, we develop trust from within ourselves, and access to the wisdom stored inside becomes reliable and repeatable.

Where do we begin?

We begin by unlearning traditional ways of relating, to ourselves, others and the world around us.

We learn to slow down...

In learning Focusing skills, we begin by unlearning traditional ways of relating that come from an underlying assumption that life is about doing and to be valued we need to fix, save or set ourselves or others straight. 

Instead, we learn to slow down, step back from and hold space with interested curiosity for our own emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. 

Staying calm and centered while holding space for confusion, fear and surprise.

Our body is our best teacher here. Gradually, by listening within ourselves, we come to understand that our mind/body/brain function best when WE pay attention to what is being communicated to US. We are not our emotions, thoughts, beliefs or behaviors. All of those are open to change. WE are the one responsible for listening and BEING WITH what is needing our attention.   

BEING WITH is not as hard as it might sound. Our mind/body/brain functions quite well on its own for much of what it takes to be a human being. And yet, as we begin to tune in, there are numerous
communications that, when responded to in the moment, can function better for

In our Smartview Stories book series, our three Inner Companions developed from neuroscience concepts make learning social emotional skills easy!