July 17, 2015

Ah YES!, being a skilled Focuser certainly makes all of one’s life encounters much more interesting!   I recently had the privilege of a close encounter with Borrelia spirochete, the little guy transmitted by deer tick bites that is associated with Lymes disease. He entered my body shortly after I had returned home from this amazingly magical trip to the Dominican Republic for my daughter’s wedding.  I was still in fantasy land, viewing pictures, feeling the love, mostly unpacking, not outside much except to catch up on berry picking so not really having tick bites on my radar.  And so the little guy found his way in.

MY FIRST AWARENESS that something was potentially up came probably 2 days after the bite, when I noticed head and neck pain that was unusual. The next evening I noticed a bite that was slightly reddened, maybe a spider bite, maybe a bad mosquito bite. The very next morning I was flat in bed for the day, no appetite, only able to occ sip water. Very sick.  And that evening I looked at the bite again and it was classic bulls-eye, blaring angry purple-red.  And now I knew I was sick from the tick bite.

FOCUSING IN CLASS – ‘It’s like a TSUNAMI in here!”

The first line of treatment for a Lymes positive tick bite is antibiotics.  By evening the next day, antibiotics were kicking in and I began to come out of my stupor.  Another 24 hrs and I was eating food.  It was now about 1 week since I estimated I’d been bitten.  I happened to have a Level 1 Focusing class meeting at my home and I was looking forward to their support in Presence as I invited ‘all this about being sick’.  I first dropped in on my own as part of a demo about the 4 steps in the Focusing process, coming in, making contact, deepening contact and coming out.  I immediately encountered a jokester type like someone throwing their arms in the air, joking and serious at the same time.  I clearly heard him say “You have got to be kidding! (wanting to Focus right now) We’re busy in here.  EVERYONE is BUSY!”  I recognized this as a part of me that can always find humor when situations are serious.  And I also understood here that this was serious.  I had been very sick and ALL of my physical resources were working hard now to regain a healthy inner environment.  I then felt a huge wave roll through my center, like a tsunami wave, and it showed me enormous destruction that now had to be cleaned up.  I spent a few more minutes with sensations particularly from my head to gut of busyness, lots of coordination, working together.  I felt an overall sense of ‘heh, we took a major hit in here and together we’ll get it cleaned up, appreciate you dropping in to check on the situation’.

SO MUCH APPRECIATION FOR THOSE WHO PAVED THE WAY…

We talked some more in class and then it was time for a another brief demo where I again was Focuser and my husband, Bob, was my Companion.  The first thing that happened here as I began to ground in Presence, was that I heard to keep my eyes open.  Focusing of course, can happen in any instance, with or without our eyes open, however, often for the purposes of going deep, many of us close our eyes when we partner together.  Normally, I close my eyes and here I heard clearly to open them, so I did.  I looked at my husband and I glanced at those here with me in class.  And I moved my awareness from my outer body to that whole area within.  Pretty much immediately I sensed a huge wave of emotion, accompanied by heavy sobbing and tears. Happy tears. The emotion was mostly gratitude and appreciation – appreciation for my husband who took me to the doctor when I could not function (and here I was looking directly into his eyes!!  It was so powerful!!) And also there was appreciation for my community here in Floyd (represented by all those in class). I felt immense gratitude for all of those who had this experience of being sick with Lymes before me, for all they went through. Gratitude that people were regularly meeting, sharing and tirelessly educating about Lymes and treatments right here in Floyd.  I could sense how they were giving each other support and hope.  Their efforts had paved the way for me to tap into that sense of support and hope here now.  I also felt a deep sadness for all the suffering those before me had endured; being sick for long periods, not understanding why, feeling alone.  I had no sense of feeling alone.  Only gratitude and appreciation that all they had endured was now making it EASY for me.  The prime message here was that I was supported in this process by all those who had gone before me and comparatively, for me, it would be easy to heal.  A very emotionally powerful session to experience or witness.

PHYSICAL DETAILS OF HEALING

I’ve also done quite a bit of Self-Focusing over this second week in the process.  For a few days I was having sleep disturbances where I was not able to get REM sleep, I would wake up feeling my nervous system stimulated right around midnight when I normally would be entering REM.  There was a part of me very concerned about this.  It’s job was to sort and file my memories from the day and it let me know that it was not able to do this.  There was a sense of exasperation, I cannot do my job and over time, this is not good.  We are losing these days!  I’ve since found a herb, ashwagandha that acts as a nervous system adaptagen that seems to be solving this.  I’ve had 3 days in a row of REM sleep anyway.  And then there was some muscle tenseness in my back left shoulder that wanted my awareness about how much responsibility it felt for me regaining my health.  I heard it and stay attentive to the area. I have not experienced the pain since.  There is more too, like figuring out best ways to take the antibiotic, to maintain a healthy gut with probiotics and to take all of the other herbs and tonics that are suggested for my forward movement.  One of them, Japanese Knotweed (a great source of Reservatrol) is particularly a challenge for my taste palate and yet, I also know that this is something I want to keep in my own personal diet past the typical month or so of initial Lyme’s bite treatment.  I feel a sense of appreciation that I will find ways to incorporate this herb form of Reservatrol into my daily diet because of Lymes and that this in the long run, is a good thing.  I sense that my body needs Reservatrol at this time in my life and I doubt I would have persisted like this without a reason like this bite.

HELLO SPIROCHETE, GOOD-BYE!

And so, a Focuser meets Lymes.  I’m thinking you might be wondering if I’ve tried to relate with the spirochete.  I have. I get the sense of something hoping to have set up home and realizing that this is not a welcoming environment.  It might be gone.  It’s very weak at this point.  I’ve acknowledged it and let it know it can take the time it needs to find it’s way forward AS I continue my antibiotic and herb protocol to make my body as unwelcoming toward it settling in as I can be.  I feel firmly grounded in my boundaries. I feel all of my physical resources working together to make this my reality. May this be so.  Aho.  Ameyn.

Update: July, 2017

It’s been 2 yrs since this incident and it seems appropriate to add an update. I consider myself totally healed of any adversity related to the incident. It took about 6 months total before a vibrational hair analysis came out clean with no sign of the spirochete. During that time, I developed wonderful self-care habits like noticing my energy levels, resting and eating as my body asked for. This replaced a strong habit I developed in my younger years of getting things done or taking care of others before I allowed time for myself.  I continue to take several of the herbs I encountered here once or twice a week so I have their immune and energy enhancing benefits regularly in my diet. I educated myself on the environments that ticks who carry Lymes thrive in. I have been and continue to remove those habitats from our property so that the chance of this happening to others who live or visit here is decreased. This is important as I live in an area considered highly endemic for Lymes disease. I have some essential oils I spray on my clothes when I am in potential tick territory.  I regularly check myself for ticks.

This is all working very well. I feel safe to be outside, anywhere. I trust myself. I’m really grateful for the entire experience and how it has moved forward my sense of trust, safety and well-being.