Exploring Interaction

with Interactive Focusing Teacher Barbara Dickinson

Welcome

Welcome to the space where we will explore interaction together.

As Sandy says, “Focusing is a way of living confidently connected to your own inner knowing in relationship to yourself and others.”

Learning Focusing brings us into a better relationship with ourselves. The listening skills we learn help us to be empathic and compassionate toward our Focusing partners.

In interaction, aided by the method called “Interactive Focusing”, we can further enhance those skills with an important kind of paying attention, listening, being empathic and compassionate toward ourselves AND OTHERS.

I have committed myself to help in the advancement of Interactive Focusing training in the world. This project has been ongoing over years. It has included attending any Interactive Focusing Workshop I could find. It also includes an effort to make Janet Klein's work as available as it was when she hosted her free website. With luck, that vision will become reality by the end of 2023.

Community Support for Improving Relationships

Interactive Focusing teaches a way of listening, a way of paying attention to another person, a way of being empathic and compassionate that I have not found in any other method.

A regular practice of IF creates a sort of “space” between two people where they can bring their individual issues as well as issues that affect both people in the relationship.

The practice of the “double empathic moment” and the “relationship check” make it possible for two people to bring up difficult and painful issues. If these are issues they have with each other, through IF they enter into a process that can support understanding of self and other in a way that can even diffuse anger and fear.

Creating this support for improving relationships through Interactive Focusing holds promise for more than just conflict resolution. Building teams, strengthening families, and all other manner of interpersonal relationships can apply the skills and reap the benefits of Interactive Focusing.

And it is not difficult to learn! The steps are simple and clear. LIke other skills, practice is key.

My passion for IF

Using Interactive Focusing, we can form bonds, strengthen relationships, and build better teams and communities through empathic listening and the sharing of the deep wisdom of both Focusing and Interaction. These are the reasons I have committed to share and teach as widely as I can the skill of Interactive Focusing. This space within the Smartview Community is vital to those efforts, and my gratitude to Sandy Jahmi Burg and her Team for the Welcome they have given is beyond words.

My Bio

Barbara Dickinson is a Certified Focusing Professional and a Certified Teacher of Interactive Focusing. She learned IF from one of two Master Teachers of IF, Masumi Maeda of Japan, over the course of their many years of Focusing partnership. Most recently, Barbara spent 1 1/2 years assisting Masumi in the translation of her extensive IF training program into English so that online IF workshops could be presented.

Living in Balance with other People

There is ample evidence in our media of the discord, disruption, conflict, fear, anger and downright danger that exist in our world today. The best way we know to address the anxiety these conditions produce is to learn skills that improve how we are with ourselves and how we are with other people. That is the goal of the project to “Explore Interaction” here in the Smartview Community.

Cultural Norms

Listening to understand is a key skill to improving relationships. Our “cultural norms” are not serving us as well as we need. These norms seem to have devolved to “listening to reply” instead of “listening to understand".

The next time you are in a conversation, notice whether the listener replies in understanding to the speaker? Or replies from their own experience or issue.

How will you know? A response to reply sounds something like this:

Speaker: “I am so upset! I spent my whole lunch hour stuck in traffic.”

Listener: “Oh, I know what that is like, I don't go out for lunch anymore.”

A response to understand sounds something like this:

Speaker: “I am so upset! I spent my whole lunch hour stuck in traffic.”

Listener: "Oh no, stuck in traffic! Ugh. I'm wondering if you had a chance to eat..."

Speaker: "No, actually. I imagine that is not helping the situation. sighs...

I have the food. Maybe after I calm down, I can take a few minutes to eat. At least I

made it back here safely. There were several accidents from the heavy rain."

Listener: "Wow, that sounds intense. At least you are back here safe. (touches the

Speaker's hand) And you have food and a quiet place to eat when you ready."

Speaker: "Oh, yes, you got it, quiet is what I need!"

With Interactive Focusing, these are the skills we learn about “listening to understand”:

Listening empathically and compassionately to the speaker
Capturing the essence of how it is for that person
Holding the essence with our own body sense
Forming a symbolic representation of the essence
Giving a symbol to the speaker in words, images, gestures
Listening with empathy and compassion as the speaker respond to the symbol

The Developers

In the 1980s, Janet Klein was an experienced Focuser, on the road to becoming a PhD psychologist. She wanted to use Focusing to have a better relationship with people -- to become a good empathic listener. She set out to observe Focusing Partnership sessions that had a special quality of closeness, eventually writing her PhD Thesis on observations of the interactions of these partners. It was crucial to her that whatever process developed could be done by anyone, without needing experts. And she did just that, creating Interactive Focusing with these unique features:

Focuser as “Storyteller” sharing some of the background situation -- crucial to developing understanding between partners.
“Focuser as Teacher” concept to encourage the Focuser to request exactly what is needed of listening, reflecting, empathizing.
Double Empathic Moment, in which the Listener takes in how it is for the Focuser.
Storyteller’s Essence, which is what the Listener takes in.
Listener’s Bodysense, what the Listener checks as they hold the Focuser/Storyteller’s Essence.
Symbolic Expression, what forms with the Listener’s Bodysense and the Listener gives to the Focuser/Storyteller.
The Format of IF sessions is grounded in establishing and maintaining safety for both partners.

Lastly, Janet Klein created the Relationship Check, in response to the nearly universal desire to know what others think of us. By forming the Relationship Check in two parts -- how am I with myself? And how am I with my partner? -- and applying the same equal turns as in Focusing, there is strong support for forward progress in the relationship between the two people. Most Relationship Checks are steeped in a deep appreciation of each other. Even those relationships that are troubled can benefit from pausing and assessing the whole relationship and its many benefits rather than one single instance of discord.

Janet Klein met Dr. Mary McGuire, PsyD, (and former Executive Director of The Focusing Institute), who became her mentor and helped in the development and teaching of IF all over the world. Dr. Janet Klein, PsyD, designated two Master Teachers of IF in Japan before her untimely passing. These are Masumi Maeda and Mieko Ito. There are a few other teachers of IF in the world, and a few more are in progress. That is why we are so excited to establish the “Exploring Interaction” project in the Smartview Community, to help assure this vital practice is sustainable.

Upcoming Opportunities to Engage

I am excited to tell you about 2 upcoming events offering Interactive Focusing.

The International Focusing Institute’s Highlight on 18th May (TIFI)
Focusing Initiatives International’s Workshop starting on 4 September

In May, a Highlight hosted by TIFI

“Interactive Focusing: One Way To Learn And Teach Empathy And Compassion”

Presented by Barbara Dickinson

Thursday, 18 May, 2023

Time: Thursday, May 18, 2023

Time: 9am-11am San Francisco Time | 12pm-2pm New York Time | 6pm-8pm CET

Why Interactive Focusing? For the presenter, Barbara Dickinson, Interactive Focusing (IF) is the “way in” to learn and teach compassion and empathy in a practical, safe, structured, and effective environment and methodology.

For 90 minutes, we will offer a demonstration, explanation, and experiential exercise in “Interactive Focusing”. The facilitator of this demonstration is Barbara Dickinson, C.F.P. You will learn a brief history of Interactive Focusing, have the opportunity to observe a full session of Interactive Focusing, including “Focuser as Storyteller”, “Double Empathic Moment”, and “Relationship Check”, and participate if you like in an exercise of forming an empathic essence (“Double Empathic Moment”). We look forward to seeing you at our Demonstration!

To learn more and register, click this LINK.

In September-October, a Workshop hosted by FII

“Interactive Focusing: an online workshop”

Presented by Masumi Maeda and Tine Swyngedouw

8 2-hour sessions on Mondays from September 4, 2023 to October 23, 2023

The time of the workshop is 7–9 p.m. Tokyo, 12–2 p.m. Brussels, 6–8 a.m. New York

During our 8 two-hour sessions we will be together and get to know all about Interactive Focusing step by step. You will learn about the four building blocks, the Interactive Focusing format, how to focus and how to listen in Interactive Focusing, and the similarities and differences with traditional Focusing in partnerships. There will be many exercises to truly experience it in your own body.

Limited to a small group of 8 to 12 participants

To learn more and register, click this LINK.

I am honored to be “Technical Assistant'' to Masumi and Tine for this workshop.

8-week Course - What you will learn

Like Traditional Focusing, Interactive Focusing has two partners, each taking equal turns (Dr. Janet Klein called them two “Single Wings”, together forming a “Double Wing”.)

Each turn, or “wing”, includes the Focuser as Storyteller and Teacher, first telling some of the story, and then sensing inside for the bodysense of the story, expression to the Listener what is important to say.

Each Listener reflects what they hear as the Focuser (as Teacher) asks them to reflect. When the Focuser as Storyteller comes to a resting place, the Listener then begins the Double Empathic Moment, taking in the essence of how it is for the Focuser, holding that essence with their own bodysense, forming a symbol of thow that is inside the Listener, and sharing that symbol with the Focuser. Once the Focuser takes in the symbol and senses freshly how the whole thing is now for them, the Single Wing is complete.

With the Interactive Response, the Listener becomes the Focuser and the second turn or “wing” begins. The second wing is completed the same as the first wing, omitting only the Interactive Response at the end of the turn.

Once the two wings are complete, the partners begin the Relationship Check, taking turns in the same order as their Interactive Focusing turns, or “wings”. At the end of the Relationship Check, the Interactive Focusing session is complete.

These are the concepts that participants will learn and practice in the 8-week Course:

Focuser as “Storyteller” sharing some of the background situation -- crucial to developing understanding between partners.
“Focuser as Teacher” concept to encourage the Focuser to request exactly what is needed of listening, reflecting, empathizing.
Double Empathic Moment, in which the Listener takes in how it is for the Focuser.
Storyteller’s Essence, which is what the Listener takes in.
Listener’s Bodysense, what the Listener checks as they hold the Focuser/Storyteller’s Essence.
Symbolic Expression, what forms with the Listener’s Bodysense and the Listener gives to the Focuser/Storyteller.
The Format of IF sessions is grounded in establishing and maintaining safety for both partners.

Listening with empathy and compassion is the crux of Interactive Focusing. Participants in the 8-week Course will have the opportunity to develop and practice these skills:

Listening empathically and compassionately to the speaker
Capturing the essence of how it is for that person
Holding the essence with our own body sense
Forming a symbolic representation of the essence
Giving a symbol to the speaker in words, images, gestures
Listening with empathy and compassion as the speaker respond to the symbol

Please share this with any individual or group that may be interested. Please write to me below with any questions you may have. I hope to see you at these events, promoting the practice of this precious resource, Interactive Focusing.

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FAQ

What is a Double Empathic Moment?

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Also known as the “Empathic Essence”, a Double Empathic Moment is the Listener’s process of taking in how it is for the Storyteller, holding that with the Listener’s bodysense, and then expressing it in a symbol like an image, a metaphor, a gesture, sound, poem, movement, etc.

It is not how the Listener would react or respond to the Story.

What the Listener says:

“Now, I will go inside and see if I can capture the Essence of how you are holding your whole story from your standpoint, using my own bodysense, and express it to you in a symbolic way.

While I do that, please take a moment of quiet time and be very gentle with yourself.”

What is a relationship check?

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In Janet Klein’s own words, “I always wanted to know what other people thought of me but was too timid or too polite or too frightened to risk asking. Now that I was a Focuser, I wanted to know how other people felt about me.”

In forming Interactive Focusing, Janet included this in the form of a “Relationship Check”. Each partner has the opportunity at the end of the session to ask two key questions:

Where are we in our relationship right now? How do I feel about you after you telling me all that about yourself?

And where am I with myself? How do I feel about me inside of myself right now after revealing all of that to you and to myself?

The format of the Relationship Check, like the rest of an Interactive Focusing session, is grounded in safety for each of the partners, and for the relationship between them. This form of reflection on the relationship itself is an important part of what builds both empathy and compassion in an Interactive Focusing partnership, by building trust that my partner and I will express ourselves, both about self and other, in a caring, kind, non-judgmental way.

See: “The Relationship Check” By Janet Klein, Psy D

Link to PDF

What is a Focuser as Storyteller?

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An important principle of Interactive Focusing is the need for the Focuser to tell at least a part of the story of the experience they bring to the partnership session. Janet Klein believed that, without some story, the Listener would be unable, or at the very least, find it very difficult, to capture the essence of how it is for the Focuser.

Thus, the term “Focuser as Storyteller” reminds each partner that the Focuser will tell some part of their story, before finding the felt sense of how that is inside - the felt sense, or as Janet liked to call it, the “bodysense”.

What is a Focuser as Teacher?

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In Interactive Focusing (IF) partnerships, as in all Focusing partnerships, the Focuser, who we call the “Storyteller” in IF, is encouraged to let the Listener know what kind of reflection is wanted, whether suggestions (guidance) are welcome, and any other specific requests they have about their focusing session.

This concept is called “Focuser as Teacher” so that both partners understand it is an “instruction” or suggestion, but not a demand on the part of the Focuser/Storyteller.

See FAQ “What is a Focuser as Storyteller?”

What is Empathy?

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Empathy is defined in different ways, depending on the source.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Understanding feelings by itself does not mean empathy. Sharing is essential. In order to empathize with you, I must be able to feel what you are feeling.

The Gallup Organization includes empathy as one of the universal “strengths themes” that describe the talents all humans possess in some measure. They define empathy as “[sensing] the feelings of other people by imagining [oneself] in others' lives or others' situations.

While imagining oneself in the situation of another does not seem as impactful as sharing feelings, both elements contribute to a complete understanding of empathy for the purpose of Interactive Focusing. This understanding is crucial to successful participation in a “Double Empathic Moment”, in which the Listener takes in the essence of how it is for the Focuser/Storyteller with the Listener’s own bodysense, and returns a symbolic expression of what comes inside.

For more on the Double Empathic Moment, refer to other parts of this website and articles by Dr. Janet Klein, Psy D.

For more about the Gallup Organization’s “Strengths Philosophy”, follow this link.

Get in touch

I am happy to answer any questions you may have about these Interactive Focusing opportunities.

Learn Focusing with Sandy Jahmi Burg

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